10 Things Linnea Learned about Becoming an Aunt

1. If you are having “creative differences” with your Dr, you can decide to change doctors, even while you are in labor.

2. If your sister chooses to go to the Olive Garden for dinner (and not home) the wait staff and mgmt will keep a close and fearful eye on her and your table as your sister eats dinner while experiencing strong contractions that are 4-5 mins apart.

3. The server will also bring you a huge pile of extra mints with the check and wear a look of extreme pity.

4. C Section babies don’t get their head’s squished so they come out looking pretty “normal”

5. There are some “new mothers” who SOMEHOW have cute hair and makeup and pjs as they take their little 5 hour old newborns for a walk in the hallways. How is this possible?!?

6. The hospital provides the cutest, most fashionable, highest quality mesh underwear for the new mothers to wear. They like to joke that it is the latest “secret” that Victoria has introduced exclusively for hospitals as a gift to new mothers!

7. Breast Feeding: TONS more work than I thought it would be. It may be free but it is NOT easy.

8. Linnea can actually make it through a major three day event without having a wardrobe malfunction, crashing anything, breaking anything, but will lose her keys in the hospital.

9. Blood. Blood. And MORE Blood!

10. The doors in labor and delivery are surprisingly sound proof, which was kind of disappointing. We were looking forward to the yelling, and screaming, and swearing, and “You are NEVER touching me again!!!” tirades.