10 Things I Learned at My Sister's Las Vegas Wedding

1. They sell souvenirs at the wedding.  Mugs.  Bumper stickers. Bobble Heads.  License plates.   Posters.  Gum.  Sunscreen. Shot Glasses.   Bubbles.  T-Shirts.  Elvis Hair.  Back Scratchers.    The only things I wanted, but they didn't have…bottled water. 
2.   Who knew you could get a fabulous wedding dress in 2 weeks for only $100. It will have a train, but no bustle.
3. Having a sister that likes to “play with your hair” can pay off when the hotel salon calls you the morning of your wedding and says they had 5 people call in sick and will no longer be able to accommodate you and do your hair for your wedding.  The results can be PERFECT!
4. The ONLY good non cheesy wedding card will be about Vegas and when YOU find it, you will have to do rock, paper, scissors with your siblings (which you will lose (paper sucks)) to see who will get to buy it, and you will be stuck with some other lame old lovey dovey card about how the best thing about marriage is not having to hold farts in.
5.  The wedding chapel will broadcast your wedding live on the Internet, so that all your loved ones not in Vegas (and any other random people in the world) can watch you get married.
6. Bring the $60 cash that you will need to purchase your marriage license (open till midnight 365 days a year), or else you will have to borrow it from a sister who will then joke about “owning your marriage” until you pay her back. J
7. If you are kind enough to babysit your niece, you should at least have her to the chapel on time, because apparently, the bride and groom aren't the only necessary people.  For some crazy reason they want their daughter to be there too.
8. The Elvis who marries you may be so considerate as to bend down during the ceremony to ask if you are exchanging rings.  He won’t know your names or refer to you by name at any point in the ceremony.
9. If you have already arrived in Vegas, and your sister (who is the bride) texts and asks what the chances are of getting a picture of your deceased mother to be displayed at the wedding is, say yes.  Then enlist the help of your siblings, email archives, a smart phone, the USB cable, and a quick photo machine at a photo processing center.  In less than an hour you have exactly what the bride requested, and your siblings are heroes!
10. If you and your two other siblings are planning to do a relay of a sprint triathlon at 6 am the morning after a Vegas wedding, quit planning that now.  It will be a waste of time, since you will all choose to sleep in and then never even mention to one another that you missed it.