10 Tips I Learned at the Mack Wedding

1. Trust the GPS in the unfamiliar town! Even if it is 2 AM and your hotel is 20 feet away and the GPS is sending you another .5 miles to get there. If you don’t you could end up doing an illegal U Turn at 2 AM on to a one way street, realize your mistake, pull up on the sidewalk and drive on it, blow a kiss to the car that you did all this in front of, realize that car is a really a cop, pull into a different hotel, park, and hide in the bushes for 3 minutes to make sure the cop is gone.

2. Check your zipper before the rehearsal starts

3. 10 Diet Cokes on girl’s night out will almost be enough to help you keep up with the sheer energy of the “blushing” bride.

4. 12 Girls can fit into a Volvo at 1 am, but breath mints and open windows are recommended

5. Chanel lipstick works in a pinch to decorate the happy couple’s getaway car.

6. Elegantly sliding down the banister while holding a glass of Champaign when you are introduced at the reception can end with a lot of laughter and rug burned knees -- April :-)
7. You can easily curb problems of the groomsmen throwing Jordan almonds down the bride's dress if your best man is a precision pitcher with a wicked fastball and access to anything that can substitute for a baseball.

8. Ordering onion rings a sushi place will probably turn out to be a very disappointing choice.

9. Climbing on all the pipes at the rehearsal dinner location may be all fun and games, till you realize you were flashing most of the wedding party while posing for a picture in one.

10. It is wonderful when the wedding is amazing, and the marriage even better! Love you guys!

Read more...

9.5 Things I Learned in my 4th 5k Race

1. If your Mother In Law does most of your laundry, and she does some pretty darn crazy things sometimes, you may find (1 mile into the race) that the t-shirt you grabbed early in the AM, but didn’t put on until closer to race time, may not be quite as clean and “scent free” as you assumed it was since it was hanging in your closet amongst all the clean shirts.


2. If your favorite running skirt is now too big and does not stay in the places it is supposed to, and you buy a “not as nice” replacement, it may lead to chaffing in unpleasant places. The Body Glide you bought for your last triathlon will work MIRACLES in preventing further chaffing.

3. The replacement skirt from #2 may have some “quality control” issues that won’t come to light until 2.2 miles in the race when you can not kit your full stride anymore because the hem stitches from both legs of the “undershorties” have come loose and tangled together. It is NOT an easy problem to rectify while running.

4. The paramedics working the race, for some reason only known to them, will be stationed at the bottom of a big freakin hill (pretty much all of mile 2 was a giant hill), and not the TOP.

5. Even if you cut 6 minutes (yes…6 Minutes!!!) off your time, your fabulous friend’s fabulous 9 year old son will still beat you.

6. You might just be devastated when people (read “men”) you THOUGHT were your friends finish the race ahead of you, but don’t wait to high five you at the finish line. Freakin Jerks. :-)

7. A small, inaugural 5k race to benefit a local elementary school had the BEST food, best goody bags, and best sponsors of every 5k I have done thus far.

8. The clothing I own that actually fits me is now officially 65% race t-shirts and athletic clothes, 25% socks, and 10% regular work clothes

9. Your cat can be almost as good as an alarm clock if the alarm you set (and triple checked) doesn’t go off.

9.5 The running training I did (which is run exactly 4 times in the last 3 months) is enough so I can’t say, “I really need to learn how to run!” this time.
Next up:
One Thanksgiving Turkey Trot
One Bolder Boulder 10 k
One Olympic Distance Triathlon
One trip to the nuthouse

Read more...

10 Things I Learned at the "Run The Rock" 5k

1. A race billed as “A challenging 5k Mountain Race” really means “Please pay us $35 to torture yourself”
2. After this torture, any other 5k would be a piece of cake!
3. Trail Race = Piles of horse crap to be avoided
4. When the trail takes you through a campground where campers are in the middle of enjoying their breakfast, the campers will take time to bang their pots and plates and cheer you on.
5. Don’t forget your headband because sweat in the eyes will only add more torture to the already torturous run.
6. Did I mention this race was torture?
7. Running down mountain slope trails can be almost as torturous as running up them, especially when combined with #3.
8. I just suck at running and I really need to actually do something about it and not just whine all the time about how I really need to do something about it.
9. The dog that ran with the woman that won the 40-49 age group will also receive a first place medal. (I was kinda jealous). :-)
10. This list may come across more whiney than most, and it really was torture…but I LOVED it! The weather was perfect, the scenery beautiful, and the atmosphere amazing!

PS.  I couldn't have done it without the two best cheerleaders and fellow racers in the world!  Cynthia and Lindsay kept me going!  Without them this race would have been just a hike in the woods.  :-) 

Read more...

10 Things Linnea Learned in her 4th Sprint Triathlon

1. Sunscreen should NOT be optional
2. Picking up your race packet the day before the race (if it is not out of your way or inconvenient) means you can sleep in an extra hour or so
3. Continually ignoring that you need to train for the run portion can cause you 51 mins of grief while you torture yourself “chasing” the 350 lb guy that is 75 meters in front of you for the whole 3.5 miles and never catching him
4. The sunburn you get as a result of #1 will wear you out for the rest of the day more than the race ever could
5. Lotion makes the body marking numbers come off before you have to go to church in the morning with your age in big black permanent marker on the back of your calf
6. I am still freaked out every time I strip out of my wetsuit that my tri shorts will come off too
7. The BEST answer when people ask, "Did you win?" is "I am still alive, so yes, I won."
8. If you have a new triathlon watch, you need to remember to ACTUALLY use it; otherwise it is just a watch
9. Receiving an encouraging text message from a friend (who is crazy to be up that early on a Sat (and not even doing the race)) right before you head for the starting line is a good thing to calm nerves
10. All those energy/recovery balls, gels, bars, capsules, gummies, powders, mints, mixes, etc are actually quite useful in this environment. I had been avoiding them (in favor of using up my own natural “energy stores”), but I felt MUCH better throughout (and after) the race taking advantage of some of those things.

Seriously, how many more lessons do I have to learn?  I guess that if I ran out, I wouldn't have anything to blog about though.  :-)

Read more...

THE 15 Things I am going to do between June 21, 2010 and September 22, 2010

1. Spend a day reading in the Brazilian Hammock (prereq…put hammock up)
2. Bonfire
3. Have a water fight
4. Attend a movie in the park
5. Attend a “Film on the Rocks at Red Rocks”
6. Camp for two nights
7. Swim the whole length and back of the gravel pond at Chatfield Reservoir (more than once)
8. Fly my kite
9. Make homemade ice cream
10. Work up to do one pull up (is this even possible in 3 months?)
11. Go out for breakfast at Toast
12. Sleep under the stars
13. Enjoy a meteor shower (if there is one to be enjoyed)
14. Learn to hula-hoop
15. Visit Wash DC

Anyone have any of these things that I can crash?  Better yet, anyone want to join me for any of them?

Read more...

Lessons I Learned in my 3rd Sprint Triathlon

1. NEVER sacrifice comfort for fashion! They sell specific triathlon clothing for a reason, and ignoring that and wearing what is “cutest” can (and in my case did) cause severe pain. I decided my favorite bike jersey looked better with my shorts and running skirt than my tri tops. My arms were extremely chaffed on the run by the end of the first mile.

2. The wetsuit I bought (see previous post) and had never swam in, turned out to be PERFECT. A black sports bra is perfect for camouflaging the “runneth over” parts.

3. If you are swimming backstroke, remember to check OFTEN to see if you are off course, or at least hope you can hear the people telling you that you are headed in the WAY wrong direction (like backwards and out to sea) (this wasn’t me, but I did try to get the girl’s attention).

4. Biking may be a great way to have dropped 53 pounds, but apparently you still have to do plenty of training in the swim and run if you want some real change. The only advantage was there was 53 pounds less of me that I had to drag around the reservoir.

5. Dropping 53 pounds will help you go from placing next to last out of everyone last year, to placing 198 out of 222. :-) On the bike leg I placed 156 out of 222.

6. It sounds ridiculous (and people look at you funny) if you blame chaffing on your ARM for your slow as snails run time.

7. Orange goggles are practically USELESS when you are swimming in to the sun. Time to buy some goggles that double as sunglasses.

8. The flock of geese that is swimming though the course -- aren’t scared of you, and probably won’t get out of your way.

9. The volunteer lady that is stationed about ½ mile in to the run course will try to lie to you and tell you, “you are almost there” to keep you motivated. I let her know on the way back (when I was only ½ mile from the finish) that NOW I was almost there.

10. It is still fun to do!

Read more...

I Now Own a Wetsuit!

I bought a wetsuit! I can’t believe it! Now I have to be committed to triathlons! Anyhow, the Saturday before Memorial Day I was at REI and I knew I needed a wetsuit for the DAC Tri the Creek. They only had one triathlon wetsuit and it was looking like it had been at the store for quite a while. It was a sleeveless Women’s XL. I had researched them enough to know that a Women’s XL is meant for women up to 180 lbs, which is SOOO NOT me. But I was feeling good that day, and the price was definitely right ($153 marked down from $220). I tried it on, and got it closed. It was kind of tight up top and a felt like my “cup runneth over”. I didn’t buy it.

Then comes Tuesday. I was 5 days away from the triathlon and I needed a wetsuit. (Yes, I am that wimpy). So, at work I decided, “Heck with the ‘cup runneth over’ stuff”, I was going to go buy that darn wetsuit. So I RACED over to REI on my scooter. (Raced is defined as 34 mph on my scooter). I knew $153 was a GREAT deal for this wetsuit and I wasn’t going to find a better deal and I knew I could continue to “shrink” into it.

They still had it, so I grabbed it and took it to the cashier. I told her, “I have decided I can’t live without this wetsuit. Ring me up!” Wanna know what this wetsuit rang up at? Really? I just about died! $74! That is correct - $74. Can you say “GONGA”!

Read more...

$25 Is Just TOOOOO Much

I can't find my work ID badge. They want $25 to replace it. I don't want to pay $25. I started an "End Badgelessness" Campaign. Here is the email I sent out the everyone in my building, and pictures of "End Badgelessness" Headquarters.


Help for the Badgeless

Please donate to this serious cause. $25 to replace a Employee ID badge is a serious obstacle that some of our own can not afford. Please donate to the Badge Relief Fund to help others who are less fortunate than you (here to after referred to as "badgeless"). The badgeless have been relegated to outcast status at 10G. These people can no longer enter the building. Please help them get off the streets and back to work! There will be a collection tin at tomorrow's 'Beat Work Stress with Nachos'. Please give what you can. If everyone in the building gave just 75 cents, that would be enough to save one whole badgeless person! Have a heart!




My total collections thus far today! - Mostly in nickles and pennies.

Read more...

More 5K Lessons Learned

1. A race will still be held if the entire course is iced over and the temp is 17 degrees
2. The water at the aide stations will be frozen solid under such conditions
3. Gardening gloves will keep your hands warm
4. Three long sleeve shirts, two pants, a fleece jacket, a turtle fur collar, and a hat will be just enough to keep you warm for the whole run.
5. A great song to have your ipod play right at the time you hit the last ¾ mile that is all downhill is Pink Floyd's Run Like Hell.
6. A 7 year old boy can get second place in the 18 and under male category
7. Whoever orders the race shirts will somehow get women’s sizes where the XL would only fit a toddler – or the 7 year old 2nd place finisher
8. If the first shirt you have on is a skiing base layer, and it is two sizes too small, it may cause you problems by riding up and taking your sports bra with it.
9. It can be very “problematic” to rectify the problem described in #8 when you have 2 shirts and a jacket on over the problem, are running in freezing temps, and are trying to stay modest.
10. It will still be a super fun experience!

Read more...

I Just LOVE Government Office Buildings!

What is the least expensive way to convert a men's restroom to a women's one?



Add a feminine products dispenser next to the urinals.

Read more...

Dealing with the Taunting

Why is it that you can drive past a specific Dairy Queen 900+ times in your life and not think anything of it, but as soon as you are in a weight loss competition, nothing looks more desirable than the plastic ice cream cone on the sign! There it is - every day - taunting me!



How do I deal with the taunting? I stocked my fridge.

Read more...

Why NOT to Shop at Night Markets

How long did I actually wear these socks?




10 HOURS!

Read more...

The First Weigh In

When my co-worker and I drew up the contract for this competition, it seemed his biggest concern was that the weigh ins be fair, accurate, and practically impossible to cheat at. We decided that we would weigh in at home on certain days that that our spouses take a picture of our toes on the scale with the weight displayed (everyone knows you have to weigh nude for accuracy). That, among other rules and prizes, were put into a scribbled out contract and we signed. The appointed day for the first weigh in came. That morning I woke up a little nervous, but fully committed to this contest (I have yet to tell you about the prizes and consequences). As I prepared for the weigh in moment, I eyed my scale and warned it that it better be on it's best behavior over the next two months. I had chose this scale for it's many virtues, different profiles, and the many things it measures like bone mass and hydration levels. I had, however, overlooked one of it's biggest "features".

I stepped on the scale in all my birthday suit glory and was ecstatic at the weight it displayed. I grabbed my cell phone w/camera and prepared to snap a picture of my toes and the display. Right at that moment a glimmer caught my eye. It was that moment that I noticed the worst feature of all about my scale. It is made of Highly Reflective Glass! There was NO WAY I was going to take the picture as requested. NO WAY! NO WAY EVER! AIN'T HAPPENING! I took a picture of the scale without my toes or any reflections in it and hoped it would be good enough for the co-worker. I sent him a text message informing him he would not EVER be receiving a picture of the weigh in as stated in the contract. The resulting text conversation went like this:

Me: We are going to (well I already do) have a problem with the scale picture taking.
Him: Did your hubby nix it? Is it too revealing for me to see your toes?
Me: Nope, it was all me that nixed it.
Him: Are you conceding? Cool!
Me: Well, the issue is that my scale is reflective glass.
Him: Well, Linnea, Mine is glass also and I had my wife take the picture at an angle and close as to block the reflection

UGH! NO MERCY!

Read more...

Why am I so susceptible to getting myself in over my head?

It seems I no matter how ridiculous a challenge is, I just keep jumping in head first! Is there some sort of disorder that causes this? Is it treatable, or am I doomed to a life of spontaneous commitment and resulting torture? Last year it was the triathlon that turned into TWO triathlons, which has turned into FOUR triathlons this year. One of these triathlons is scheduled to be an Olympic distance one. EEEK! In all my wisdom, I figured that these FOUR freaking triathlons would be much easier to do, if I didn’t have to lug all my extraneous weight around while training. Logical conclusion? Yes.

You might be thinking that the FOUR triathlons is where I got in over my head, but you are wrong.

To make a long story short, a co worker and I made a weight loss bet. Over lunch one day, we discovered we weigh exactly the same and both wanted to drop some of it. A week later we signed the contract for the bet. We have till March 31st to reach a certain weight. There is about $150 in prizes at stake for this bet. Now, allow me to tell you a bit about the guy I have to beat. He is two inches taller than me and massively muscular. He is also 18 years older than me (which I suspect is all I have going for me). The weight we are trying to reach by March 31st is also his target weight. My target weight would still be about 1000 lbs less than even that. He also spent a good portion of his life as a personal trainer. Ugh. Wish me luck!

Read more...

A Perfect 10 Year Aniversary Post

This is a transcript of a chat conversation I had this morning with my friend Brett.

Brett: so...
me: as you were saying...
Brett: did i mention i decided to try out eharmony?
me: are you getting married? not that I recall...
Brett: just wondering if there are more quality people out there than the ones that i sometimes date...you know, like cute smart girls who maybe work at hooters...
me: and...
Brett: (that's where you laugh and say "yeah, i know of someone perfect for you that fits that mold!")
anyway... the way it works is that you get anywhere from 1-8 "matches" a day...
me: i can't wait to see where this is going!
and one of your "matches" today is someone I know?
Brett: well, linnea... you receive an email about each one with their name and age in the morning.
so when i was looking at them on my blackberry, i got one that said "eharmony would like to introduce you to linnea, 33!"
me: you should totally take her out! I bet she is AWESOME!


Artur and Linnea's 10 Year Aniversary--Today!

Read more...

Guess What Song...

....we had too much fun with at the office today.

Read more...