A Conversation in One Act

So, yesterday morning me and two guys from work decided to get tickets to the Avalanche Pre-season opener last night. While coordinating the logistics of getting to the game (the three of us work in three different buildings in three different parts of town), this is the conversation we had.

The parts in this play:

Tom: A pretty funny guy
Candi: Tom’s “with child” wife
Marcus: Another pretty funny guy
Linnea: Uhm…me.
Mookie: What Marcus calls any child, kid, or fetus.

Marcus: Don't Need to Ask No Stink'in Wife. I'd like to go. I do ride the bus so I would need a lift to the bus station after the game and I didn't drive to the bus stop today so that means that I have to have Barb pick me up so I guess I do have to ask her if I can go. I'm making the call now.

Tom: since candi is driving down.. we can drive you to the station...or heck we could drive you to the edge of the freeway at least....

Marcus: I have my rides worked out...the K's will drive me to the edge of Denver and I'll thumb from there. I’ve been informed that we have to be prepared to throw our bodies in front of any oncoming puck heading for Mookie, are you ready for this Linnea? When should I be at the building?

Marcus: I can make to the building by 6...I'd like a cold one waiting for me.

Linnea: Sounds fine by me. I don't have a jacket/sweatshirt to get home in on my scooter. Anyone have a giant one they can lend me?

Marcus: you can be the first to wear the Av's jersey we're buying

Linnea: Hmmm...will that be warm enough? :-)

Tom: I have one in my locker in my cube

Marcus: Fine, I'll wear the Av's jersey.

Tom: I could have candi bring my avoholics jersey

Linnea: How bout I just wear the one in Tom's locker (if it is giant enough) and doesn't smell bad.... Then you two can fight over the avaholic one...

Marcus: Naw, I want one with Gretzky's number

Tom: Gordie howe

Linnea: Do you even know what Gretzky's number was?

Marcus: I just know he was one of the greatest Avalanchers to ever lace of a pair of skis

Tom: Or wear a garter

Marcus: Skis, skates it's really all the same...one of those Commie sports

Marcus: Have Candi stop by a pick up a 12'er and some brats...and make sure she cools the beer down...will she be able to lift the grill into your truck?

Tom: Honey... Here is a request for you...

Marcus: It will be good to see you again, Candi. Please don't hurt yourself with the grill...get a neighbor to help you (if Tom hasn't pissed off all of them).

Tom: oh i pissed most off.. a few have been more resilient than i would have thought

Marcus: I just wouldn't want the baby to come early, I know that grill is heavy.

Candi: OK, I can do the beer and brats but don't think I can lift the grill in the
truck. So, any other plans???

Tom: Of course not, the tailgate is too high..Put it in the car.. Geez.. I have to think of everything..

Marcus: Maybe you can stop and buy a hibachi?

Tom to Candi: You know what a hibachi is, Hefe?

Marcus: I just spit sunflower seeds all over my self...Tom, you're the man.

Candi: hahahahaha. I'll do what I can for ya but lifting the grill just isn't gonna happen. Besides Tom has got it locked down and doesn't give me a key for fears that I'll ruin his baby.

Linnea: The Grill "baby" or the real baby?

Tom: We all know the answer to that

Candi: The grill baby.

Marcus: That'll all change in a few months...I feel sorry for the baby already, not that his life is ruined, but T is his dad.

Tom: Ok, candi has agreed to pick us up at pat's.. So hussle up